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| Welcome to Pueblo Nuevo Sitala! |
After a 5 hour ride, crammed in the backseat of a pick-up truck, up the winding and rocky mountain road we made it to our second community visit with the wonderful people from K'inal.
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| Main Street |
Pueblo Nuevo Sitala is a rural, indigenous community almost a mile high in the Sierra del Madre mountain range of Southern Mexico in the state of Chiapas. The women from the Jolom Mayaetik Cooperative who are from Pueblo Nuevo Sitala have a new center where they meet, eat, work and welcome guests. My job during this trip was to observe, take photos and present my design for a mural that will eventually cover a wall in their new center.
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| Mural Design Draft |
I briefly shared the mural design and observed the women plan and discuss the development of the cooperative-- while the rest of our two days in Pueblo Nuevo was spent struggling to stay "entertained" as we did not have anything familiar to do or anywhere to go on our downtime. Without our usual electronic devices and distractions we were ended up picking fruit, examining bugs and throwing rocks down the mountainside with the children who were also unoccupied and waiting for their mothers. Still, I felt stuck as I was forced to face my acquired
need to be entertained, despite standing in the midst of beautiful people and breathtaking landscape.
I knew that I was far outside of my usual comforts and conveniences of daily life. I wanted to check my email, take a shower when I felt like it, eat what I wanted. In the midst of my frustration, I thought to myself "why do I complicate my life so much with so many distractions and manufactured needs?" I have not found an answer for this question and I am still aggravated by the grip that modern conveniences have on my life.
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Back to what was happening in the backdrop of my existential dilemma... During the day, the women were presented with a skirt which a textiles student from Mexico City designed for the women to use. Several women tried the skirt on and modeled it for the others, discussing how they could replicate the skirt with their traditional design and embellishments. In the evening, the center filled up with husbands and sons of the women of Pueblo Nuevo. Cesar, our driver, who we thought was just a skilled conductor, was also there to assist the men in the promotion and maintenance of their coffee production.
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| Community Elders-First Smore |
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| First Roasted Marsmallow! |
While he spoke with the men, we anxiously waited for dinner with the 3 other Mexican students and the children. Despite the fact that this sounds like a very United States American idea, I swear that the students from Mexico city, Camila, Pepe and Sofi, suggested that we make smores while we wait. So we made our way through the woods to the small convenience store on the main street of Pueblo Nuevo. We bought a the only bag of marshmallows they had, 2 rolls of Maria cookies, and the last of their chocolate. Though, making smores did not ease the sting of my earlier frustration with myself, the sugar renewed my energy and I definitely wouldn't trade anything for this chance to see the community elders eating the strange treat which we presented them.
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| The Center |
The next day, as we made our way down the rocky road and listened to Abba, I felt grateful for the beautiful people who shared their community and lives with us, for our coworkers at K'inal for bringing us so far to observe, and for the opportunity to be here in Chiapas.
I was tired before beginning this trip and slightly worried that I was developing a slight cold but I knew this experience would be unforgettable. One of K'inal's most important programs is a scholarship program for young women. After and application and interview process, young women from various communities can come to K'inal to live and go to school in the area. Many people within rural communities have to make the financial choice of which children to continue on in their education....most often young girls lose out. Though this program is small(9 youth currently), the support of K'inal has had an incredible impact on the lives of these young women. 
An important element of the scholarship agreement is that the young women will use their education to support and improve their communities in some way. This trip was a chance to witness the power that these young women have discovered within themselves and to observe their continued sense of responsibility to their communities of origin. The youth had prepared a workshop on the topic of violence and the various forms that violence takes specifically, against women. My role was to entertain the children with the help from another women, Leira, who was volunteering from the Basque Country in Spain. 
We made our way to our first stop in the village of San Jose. As soon as we arrived, I started feeling nauseated and dizzy. We entered the home of Ambro's family(one of the youth whom I work with daily at K'inal). I told Ambro that I was feeling pretty awful. Immediately, I was told to lay with my feet up in a hammock that stretched across the front room of the house. Ambro's abuela patted my chest and forehead with a wet towel. Everyone was standing over me laying there---pale and groaning--saying that it would pass. 
Beyond the apparent heat exhaustion setting in-- I was feeling incredibly alone. The last time this sort of heat exhaustion hit me I was able to leave the heat at the end of the day on an air conditioned bus. In this moment I knew that I was far away from anyone I love and that we would not be going anywhere for 2 days. I was afraid and angry. Afraid, because in my delirium I had all the worst thoughts that I would not survive, that I would never see my friends or family again. All I could think about was how I would not have to go through this if I was back home and I became angry at myself for living such a comfortable life. I cried like a baby, pitying myself and feeling ashamed. Leira, who happened to be a nurse, stayed with me as the young women began their evening workshop. 
I was so happy that I was invited and welcomed on this trip and I was incredibly grateful for the care I received from these women in my time of need. However, after confronting death(no matter how unlikely it actually is) there is nothing like being able to speak your own language and hold the hand of someone you know and love. At the time, I was hardly grateful for the important life lessons that I was gaining. I didn't really care that my struggle was giving me a chance to more deeply understand the isolation and pain that migrants often experience. I just wanted to be back with my companions in San Cristobal, in the comfort and safety of familiarity.
When we finally made our way back to San Cristobal, I thought about taking a hot shower and sleeping in a bed without mosquitoes hovering. I felt shame for my attachment to comfort and ease. The feeling of frustration with my "manufactured needs" persisted as I thought about the many things that people find ways to live without. I thought about the way I've learned that quicker is better, that I should seek whatever is more convenient--more time-saving. I realized that on this trip I had lost track of time. In the midst of my self-pity and frustration, I was able to savor each moment, good and bad, in a way that I hadn't done since I was a child. I am still trying to figure out what to do with all this.
