Mutual Aid

Technically, I am here in Mexico City for classes and academic learning…right?  My first few days here have been an emotional detox.  I spend so much time as a social worker and a social work student trying to solve and resolve the “problems” that my clients and professors put in front of me.  I address and analyze the systemic issues, the diagnosis and the barriers with my professional super powers that I received upon beginning in the social work field.  My anger against unjust systems and stigma builds and builds with nowhere to go. Today, I was reminded yet again that these super powers are powers to which everyone has some access—it’s called emotional connection or human relationships.  

Jaquelin is a Psychologist who utilizes a popular education model for the work she does in groups with women who are ‘left behind’ when their sons and husbands migrate from Mexico.  After recent decades of increased migration from Mexico to the United States, many of these rural communities are now comprised of mainly women, children and los abuelos. This has strained many families who survive without the presence of their spouses or sons whom often must leave in order to find work. Many women with whom Jaquelin works experience depression, anxiety, sexual, physical and emotional abuse, and difficulty adjusting to new roles in the absence of their spouse. 

Eneida, Clemencia and Gely are three women from rural towns in the state of Veracruz, Mexico.  These women spoke from their experiences and involvement in Jaquelin's groups and facilitated activities with us surrounding some of the themes that are covered during their own group experiences. The topics we went through as a group were: emotional management, grief, violence and assertiveness. 

Much of the practical information we discussed was nothing new to a group of master’s level social work students--- the 5 stages of grief… check!  Forms of violence….check!  Effective communication and assertiveness….check! Check!   However, it is here is where I the tears begin to flow. Eneida, Clemencia and Gely had all began these groups as participants, not facilitators. They had experienced extreme forms of abuse, violence and grief throughout their relationships. They lived missing their children and husbands who left in search of a better life with no pills to numb the pain or diagnosis to name their experience.    It was their powerful testimonies that grip my heart. Each had felt worthless, incapable and powerless, and each had overcome these lies not by means of isolated and individualized therapy but by the “apoyo mutual” or mutual aid in which they were essential to the care of each other. 

The idea of mutual-aid is nothing new but has been largely over shadowed by professionalized and hierarchical methods of clinician-client relationships.  I am the clinician/expert and you are the client/problem to be solved.   What I experienced today has affirmed me in my struggle to not lose the human connection in my work. It is so easy to begin putting up emotional walls, or as we in the biz like to say “boundaries,” when we constantly encounter people who have experienced great trauma or struggles.  We say that these boundaries protect us and in some ways I agree.  However, today I am feeling more human as I begin uncovering the emotions which I have learned very well to stuff deep down as a defense…against what?  The human being and connection right in front of me.